Moonlight
by RT4ever
Summary: Sonny and Brenda story, set after her departure from the show.
1. Moonlight

He sat there holding her hand as the hours passed without her waking up again. He heard the commotion outside and knew that Edward had arrived.

"You" He came in raging with a finger extended towards Sonny. "This is all your fault." He turned back to the nurse that had chased after him, "I want you to find security now and have this hooligan thrown out."

"Sonny's going nowhere Edward." Jason came up behind him.

"You" he waved a finger, "You don't start with me. She's your wife, you should have protected her."

"Ms. Barrett is your wife?" the nurse asks, confused by the commotion and she'd come on thinking the man sitting with her had been.

Jason shoots a look at Edward, "She was. It was annulled. How is she doing?"

"She seems to be holding her own." The nurse said looking over at the battered Brenda, they'd been amazed at the strength she'd shown after surgery, no one had expected her to last as long as she had.

"That means she'll recover" Edward said in a strong voice, unable to think of losing her again.

"The doctors are optimistic" she said honestly, hours ago that would have been a lie.

"Brenda's strong" the gruff old man said walking over to her, his hand looking for a place to rest, in the end he decided the cast would be strong enough to stand the gentle weight of his hand, "She'll be fine. She's been through worse." His eyes went over Brenda's body and glared at Sonny.

"You all can't be in here, only one at a time." The nurse said hoping she wouldn't have to call security to remove anyone.

The two men remained locked at her side as Jason and the nurse looked on.

"I promise they'll behave or I'll physically escort them out myself." The blue eyes connected as Sonny's remained downward.

The nurse sighed, calling security, which was the only way to get any of these men out of here was bound to cause more issues than they'd create if she left them alone. "Press the button if you need anything" was all she said as she left the room.


	2. Standing There Alone

He hung his head in pain, anguish, wishing he could escape the truth he'd known the moment he woke up, but couldn't accept. "Is she...?"  
  
The shock registered on Jason's face for a brief moment, he didn't know why he was surprised, there was something between Sonny and Brenda that no amount of logic and reason could explain. "No" he said shaking his head, hoping his voice wouldn't crack he continued "Not yet."  
  
"She won't die, she can't, I left her Jason so she could be okay, so she could be happy and safe and she..she cannot die. I have done everything in my power to keep her safe and happy and she..she..she can't die." Sonny's voice was shaking, it was raw and it bordering on the edge of breaking down as he tried to stay strong.  
  
Jason realized something as he watched his best friend try to keep his composure, it wasn't up to them to try and keep other people safe, it wasn't up to them to live their lives, to dictate what happened and when, it would only backfire, they should have learned that by now. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Why are you sorry?" he looked up through his tears  
  
"I told her if you loved her to let her go, I was wrong. It's not selfish to be with the ones you love, it's not selfish to allow them to be in this life, it's selfish when we push them away because we don't want to be responsible if they get hurt. There gonna get hurt no matter what."  
  
Sonny shook his head, unable to deal with that thought "How long until the jet's ready?"  
  
"There's a regular flight out of here in a half an hour, the jet will take two to get ready."  
  
"You got me a ticket?"  
  
"It's waiting for you at the gate."  
  
"I'm gonna go throw on clothes."  
  
"Kay, I'll get Johnny to bring the car around." 


	3. Tell Her

Sonny was back downstairs before even a minute had passed, dressed in a pair of jeans that hadn't seen the light of day in years and a white t- shirt, he rushed to the door. He turned to Jason as they started to walk out. "You need to stay here."  
  
"I want to go with you."  
  
"No, you need to go tell the Q's, Edward's likely to have a heart attack if you call him. Brenda will never forgive us if that happens. Don't forget Jax, she'll want to see him. Meet me as soon as you can." His words were rushed, they were choppy, thinking was too difficult, everything was too difficult.  
  
He got into the elevator and as the doors started to close Jason's hand grabbed held them back "Make sure she knows."  
  
"What?"  
  
His expression was blank as he spoke, he didn't know why he was saying these things, he only knew that had to be said "That you love her as much as she loves you, she doesn't think you do. You did a really good job convincing her you didn't."  
  
He laughed as he collapsed against the wall of the elevator "How could she ever doubt that?"  
  
"The same reason you always believed you loved her more than she could ever love you." he said with a shake of his as he let the doors close. 


	4. Am I Too Late?

Moonlight **Chapter Four**

Am I Too Late?

He didn't know how he survived the hour and half flight to get to her. It all seemed to be a blur up until he got to the hospital, thankfully Jason had been composed enough to think of having a car waiting for him. The driver got out of the car and ran leading him up to the operating floor. 

He didn't know how to speak anymore, he didn't know how to form those words...his voice could not make a sound to utter them...those horrible questions he didn't want to know the answer to. He stood back as the driver ran towards a nurse, he couldn't hear the words being spoken. He blanked them out of his mind afraid of what they would say. Other words filled his thoughts

_"I try not to, but I gotta tell you something, I can't help but think of what she went through that night. Was there a moment where she realized she was going to die? I told you I'd die seeing Brenda's face. I just wonder if she died seeing mine"_

"Oh. I never even considered that. That you might be scared. I sat and watched you get a bullet removed from your chest and you didn't even flinch and I watched you stand up to Rivera's men, and I was really scared, but you were so strong and so brave and I knew that I was going to be ok because you were there. Sonny, you're so...courageous. Are you scared of us, Sonny?"

_ "He thinks about her all the time...Her safety, how she feels, how he can make her his and no one else's and then when she's away from him all he cares about is getting her back. And sometimes he sees clearly, he knows he should walk away, because she could cost him everything. But he doesn't because he...he wants her so bad she's become the center of his life. He can't get rid of her even to save himself."_

"I'm scared of us. I am. But when I'm with you and you have your arms around me I forget to be scared. If I didn't love you, it wouldn't hurt me so much." 

_"You're just going to have to stay calm and trust that I will take care of you"_

"I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see your face. I hear your voice. I feel your mouth."

_"I love you. End of story."_

He could hear his breath deep and ragged as he was assailed by memories of them, words he shouldn't be able to remember, yet they were as vivid as they were when they happened, they took him away from this place, to a time..

No no, he couldn't think that, she was going to be okay. She's fine..

"Mr. Corinthos"

"What?" his eyes shot open and he saw the driver standing in front of him.

"Miss Barrett is still in surgery."

"It's been hours.." his voice quivered, what did he say?

"Just three and half hours since the accident, they tried to stabilize her first."

"Tried?"

"She has severe internal injuries, it doesn't look good."

His eyes closed, he had been expecting those words, but he didn't know how to respond to them. Should he ask about the accident? He didn't really care, all he knew was it was trying to take her away from him and he wouldn't let that happen. 


	5. Connection

Chapter 5  
  
"Mr. Corinthos?"  
  
Sonny's eyes popped open and saw the nurse in front of him; he hadn't been sleeping as they probably assumed he'd been. No he'd been sitting there thinking of the million and a half different ways he could have kept her safe and struggling to accept the knowledge that he'd done none of them. He just starred at the nurse in front of him, he was still too afraid to ask the dreaded question.  
  
"Miss Barrett is in Intensive Care. You aren't family, but we're allowing you to go in. She's asleep, but I don't want you in there for longer than five minutes."  
  
He continued to stare at her and wondered if he should fight with her, but then suddenly he realized, fighting has gotten him no where important in this life. "Do you believe that people are connected?"  
  
She now simply looked at him blankly  
  
"That you can know when something's wrong without ever being told. You can feel the complete absurdity of a world that would try to take the one thing that had meaning and importance and was your very reason living out of this world? That one other person can keep you alive?"  
  
"Brenda needs to feel me next to her; she needs to see my face when she opens her eyes. Even she doesn't open her eyes; she needs to know I'm next to her. She needs to hear my voice, she needs to be reminded that there's a reason to fight."  
  
The tears choked Sonny up too much to speak for a second, but he continued on very softly, "I have been in love with that woman since she was a child; I was in love with her before I even met her. The world suddenly made sense when she entered mine because I realized something.we were supposed to be living life together. The world only makes sense because she's in it and I have to be with her now. She's been with me more times than I can count when everything's on the line, she kept me in this world. Please don't make me abandon her again; I might not get another chance to make up the hurt I've caused her."  
  
The nurse nodded and wiped away her tears as she motioned for Sonny to follow her. 


	6. Give Me A Chance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6

Give Me A Chance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonny didn't gasp as he saw her; he didn't see the bruised face, the busted lip, or the tiny cuts all over her face from the glass. The broken arm, the elevated leg, all the machines didn't affect him because they meant one thing…

_She was still here and that was the one thing that had always mattered._

He sat down next to her and placed his hands over her free one, he didn't dare risk lifting it to clasp it between his own. "Jason told me the stupidest thing as I was coming here. He said that you didn't believe I loved you as much as you loved me." 

He took a moment and composed his thoughts, caught his breath and gave a little laugh then continued on, "I always thought you were so smart Brenda, a little dense at times, but always brilliant. Couldn't you see my world revolved around you? My world still does revolve around you, despite how I fight it. 

"Maybe it was because our love for each other knew no limits, it was infinity and how could you believe that existed elsewhere because it still seems so impossible, but it's real."

He shook his head and wiped away his tears "I don't want to be telling you this as you sleep, I always used to do that. I used to tell you everything when you were asleep, I'd tell you how I wanted to marry you, I wanted us to have children, I never wanted to live in a world that didn't have you by my side, but I was never strong enough to really say it all when you were awake. I didn't know if I had the strength to live up to those words, those promises to be with you forever, no matter what the consequences."

He grimaces as he continues on "I think the universe is trying to tell me something because I keep letting you go and I pushing away to supposedly keep you safe and somehow you always end up getting screwed over." 

"Jason told me I've to stop living your life, I've got to stop trying to manipulate you into situations that I think will make you happy and keep you safe, I think the universe agrees with him. I don't think we're meant to be on our own." 

"There's never be a time in my life where I've been anywhere near as happy or alive as I am when I'm with you. We are every cheesy line about being two halves of one whole. Every time we kiss all I can think about is dropping to the floor and ravishing/adoring you for hours; **_ anywhere we are_**; **every kiss**. I have to stop myself at just a kiss; I'm a perpetual 15 year old boy with you." 

He smiles and laughs "I think that means something, people always talk about feeling young, there was a constant thrill when we were younger because things were new, it's always going to be new with you. Or maybe not, but you've got to wake up so we can find out." 

"Anywhere you wanna run baby I'll go. We can find a way to be together because life just doesn't seem to work right when you're not there. Just please wake up baby. I love you so much; give me a chance to make you sick of hearing those words."

He thought he saw her eyelids flicker, "Brenda?" he stood and leaned over her to see her face better."

Her eyelids opened a crack and hoarsely, she whispered "Not a chance" and fell back asleep.


	7. Common Ground

He sat there holding her hand as the hours passed without her waking up again. He heard the commotion outside and knew that Edward had arrived.

"You" He came in raging with a finger extended towards Sonny. "This is all your fault." He turned back to the nurse that had chased after him, "I want you to find security now and have this hooligan thrown out."

"Sonny's not going anywhere Edward." Jason came up behind him.

"You" he waved a finger, "You don't start with me. She's your wife, you should have protected her."

"Ms. Barrett is your wife?" the nurse asked, confused by the commotion and she'd come on thinking the man sitting with her was her husband.

Jason shot a look at Edward, "She was. It was annulled. How is she doing?"

"She seems to be holding her own." The nurse said looking over at the battered Brenda, they'd been amazed at the strength she'd shown after surgery, no one had expected her to last as long as she had.

"That means she'll recover" Edward said in a strong voice, unable to think of losing her again.

"The doctors are optimistic" she said honestly, hours ago that would have been a lie.

"Brenda's strong" the gruff old man said walking over to her, his hand looking for a place to rest, in the end he decided the cast would be strong enough to stand the gentle weight of his hand, "She'll be fine. She's been through worse." His eyes went over Brenda's body and glared at Sonny.

"You all can't be in here, only one at a time." The nurse said hoping she wouldn't have to call security to remove anyone.

The two men remained locked at her side as Jason and the nurse looked on.

"I promise they'll behave or I'll physically escort them out myself." The blue eyes connected in confrontation as Sonny's remained downward.

The nurse sighed, calling security, which was the only way to get any of these men out of here was bound to cause more issues than they'd create if she left them alone. "Press the button if you need anything" was all she said as she left the room.


End file.
